Saturday, July 27, 2013

● What Have I Become? ●

Things have changed. From what I recall, I am so much different than what I am before. It's difficult. I tried to be better but every time, I fail. I don't like what I see in the mirror. So much pain and sadness lurking deep down inside of me. What have I become is product of the past. I thought being hard would be best for me. Indeed I no longer feel the pain of not receiving love in return however, in the long run, I feel that am the one inflicting the pain - which is worse than the later if I may say. This is not the person I would like to be - the arrogant, insensitive, carefree, hurtful, annoying, unloving person. I want to bring back those times where I can be proud of  saying - "I am better!".

Hard To Forgive But Easier To Forget

Why is it that at times, it would be easier to forget than to forgive? I don't know about you but surely it is for me. Have you ever experienced that somehow, you were angry but for some reason, you can't even seem to recall why you were. It's funny right? Sometimes, I wonder how would it go if it's easier to forgive. I guess, things would be different. 

People say that when you forget, you can easily forgive. I thought it's as easy as to how it has been said but then again, I thought wrong. The pain still lingers and that's something that hinders you to forgive. You hold on to the pain which serves as a reminder not to fall for the same mistakes. 

Not a day goes by that I have thought of forgiving. To forgive is to move on. I hope, one day, I will be able to get the forgiveness that I am yearning for. Maybe then, I can keep you forever.

Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets.
So, love the people who treat you right and
forget the ones who don't.
And believe that everything happens for a reason...

If you get a chance - take it.
If it changes your life - let it.

Nobody said that it would be easy...
They just promised that it would be worth it.

Monday, April 1, 2013

100 Truths

1. last beverage = iced tea (apple flavored)
2. last phone call = rhoxie
3. last text message = Globe
4. last song you listened to = I Knew You Were Trouble

6. dated someone twice = yup!
7. been cheated on = uhuh!
8. kissed someone & regretted it = maybe
9. lost someone special = yes.
10. been depressed = a number of times..
11. been drunk and threw up = hahahah.. i did.

12. black
13. yellow
14. blue

15. Made a new friend = yes.
16. Fallen out of love = no
17. Laughed until you cried = nope
18. Met someone who changed you = not totally changed me..
19. Found out who your true friends were = maybe.
20. Found out someone was talking about you = huh?! aint that familiar! :o
21. Kissed anyone on your fb friend's list = yes! family... heheheh..

22. How many people on your fb friends list do you know in real life = all except a few.
24. Do you have any pets = none
25. Do you want to change your name = hahaha.. wish i could. (lol)
26. What did you do for your last birthday = drink?! eat?! sleep.. hahahaha..
27. What time did you wake up today = around 1pm.
28. What were you doing at midnight last night= trying to adjust my sleeping habit. back to graveyard shift tomorrow.
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for = i can wait forever.. :p
30. Last time you saw your Mother = today!
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life = hmmm.. i don't know.
32. What are you listening to right now = sound of silence.
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom = i think i did.. BP!
34. What's getting on your nerves right now = the past!
35. Most visited webpage = not much actually. haven't been online for quite sometime.
37. Nicknames = Asziz, AZ, ziz, Zab, Zhara, 
38. Relationship Status = in a relationship with Gladys Pantaleon.
39. Zodiac sign = Cancer
40. Male or female?= Half?! =D
41. Elementary? = F. Benitez Elementary School (main)
42. High School = La Concordia College (paco, manila)
43. College = Technological Institute of the Philippines.
44. Hair color = Brown / Black
45. Long or short = short..
46. Height = 5'4 1/2
47. Do you have a crush on someone? = crush?! hmmmm...
49. Piercings = ears and below my lips.
50. Tattoos = none
51. Righty or lefty= righty

52. First surgery = none
53. First piercing = ears
54. First best friend = don't recall hahahaha..
55. First sport you joined = Volleyball
56. First vacation= can't remember.
58. First pair of trainers = New Balance

59. Eating = not eating right now.
60. Drinking = no drinks as well.
61. I'm about to = post a note
62. Listening to = sound of silence.

64. Want kids? = i do but not mine.! hahahahah..
65. Get Married? = if it is possible.. why not!?
66. Career? = Engineer, Musician, Web / Wap designer, Software developer. (frustrations) hahahah

67. Lips or eyes = eyes
68. Hugs or kisses= hugs
69. Shorter or taller= shorter
70. Older or Younger = older
71. Romantic or spontaneous =spontaneous
72. Nice stomach or nice arms = nice stomach
73. Sensitive or loud = sensitive
74. Hook-up or relationship = relationship
75. Trouble maker or hesitant = trouble maker

76. Kissed a stranger = yes
77. Drank hard liquor = yes
78. Lost glasses/contacts = nah.
79. Sex on first date = no
80. Broken someone's heart = hmm.. maybe.
81. Had your own heart broken = a number of times.
82. Been arrested = yes! for smoking! hahahah.. 
83. Turned someone down = i did. 
84. Cried when someone died = yes
85. Fallen for a friend? = yup.

86. Yourself = of course.
87. Miracles = i guess so.
88. Love at first sight = nope!
89. Heaven = yes!
90. Santa Claus = no
91. Kiss on the first date = maybe
92. Angels = yes

93. Had more than one bf/gf? = nope! hahaha..
95. Did you sing today? = yes.
96. Ever cheated on somebody? = yes.
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go, and why? = from the day I was born. trip lang.. hahaha.
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be? = our anniversary. it didn't turn out what i have planned.
99. Are you afraid of falling in love? = nope.
100. Posting this as 100 truths? = yes

Wednesday, February 20, 2013


The world is run by egos. The rules in business and in life, in general, are ego-based rules. What you know is not quite as important as who you know and who you are associated with.

In any industry, your key to opening doors of opportunities lie in your association with the key person of influence. The benefits of co-operation aside, that is how the game of business is being played—it has been for decades, even for centuries—and it will continue to do so for some time to come.

Perhaps that is why we are so quick to name-drop when we know someone famous or influential. Social validation through association elevates the perception of our status. It removes barriers and opens doors of opportunities. You don’t have to look far to find evidence of this. Just look at your workplace and you will find that at least one person in your company got his or her job because he or she knew someone in upper management, never mind that there are many other candidates who are more qualified for the role. It’s the way the corporate world works, it’s the way the world works in general. I agree the rules are not fair, which is why I don’t play the game if I can help it.

As we’ve moved into the era of the new energy, I’m increasingly being compelled to write about the ego, not because it is fascinating stuff, but because I’ve been asked by those around me, “What does ego really mean?” With this question being asked numerous times by different people, it occurred to me that ego is not something most people readily recognise, either in themselves or in others.

When I’m being asked what ego is about, I thought about it a little more. Of all the different ways I can explain it, I decided that one word is perhaps sufficient.

That word is ‘separation’.

The ego seeks to divide and separate, rather than unite. It seeks to delineate people into groups of Us vs Them. The more obvious artificial divides are based on religion, race/ethnicity and nationality, where pride is associated with a certain religious beliefs, skin colour, place of birth or domicile. Whether pride itself is an egotistical trait is something I’m still pondering about. Whatever it is, one thing is certain—the ego is at work if a separation exists to denote superiority vs inferiority.

So, what does ego look like in everyday life?

It appears as racism—when we think one race is more superior than another, or one skin colour is better than another.

It appears in socio-economic segregation—when people choose to divide themselves based on their wealth or income, their profession and perhaps even their level of education.

It appears mostly in social segregation when people divide into cliques based on perceived importance on superficial criteria like popularity, who they know, what they have, what they know, whether they are spiritually evolved or not etc.

The ego attributes importance to a group at the expense of another. Some of this is perpetuated through a mass belief that this importance is genuine. For example, women by nature are relational beings. Relationships are important to us. So, for women, being in a relationship with a man is important because part of their identity is derived from their partner or spouse. So when they are without a partner or a spouse, an unhealthy indulgence of ego makes them feel that they are incomplete or inadequate. When they are with a partner or a spouse, an unhealthy indulgence of ego makes them feel that they are more superior than their counterparts who are single. This is, of course, just an example.

Eckhart Tolle pointed out that the ego derives its sense of importance from someone or something that is external to them. In other words, the ego is at work when we are name-dropping, when we are showing off our designer label clothing or when we feel superior because of our achievements.

At this point, I would like to clarify that ego in itself is neutral. Where it becomes harmful is when we allow our egos to control our actions and behaviour, rather than the other way around. You see, the ego lives in the mind. It shows up dressed in all kinds of thoughts that create a variety of emotions that may not be healthful if overindulged. Emotions like worry, fear and doubt are just as much ego driven as arrogance and superiority.

So how do we tame this beast?

I don’t have all the answers. All I can offer is this piece of advice—ask yourself what needs are being met when you allow your ego to dictate how you act, how you view others and how you behave towards them. When you uncover what those needs are, seek ways to meet them within yourself.

At the end of the day, I believe there really is only one solution to meeting all those needs. The solution—in my view—is Divine Love.

To Divine Love,

Chiao Kee

“It is better to deserve without receiving, than to receive without deserving”
-Robert Green Ingersoll



My role in society, or any artist's or poet's role, is to try and express what we all feel. Not to tell people how to feel. Not as a preacher, not as a leader, but as a reflection of us all. 
-John Lennon

Photo Credits:

15 Ways to Live, and Not Merely Exist

♥♥ Another inspiring post ♥♥

As Jack London once said, “The proper function of man is to live, not to exist.”  Far too often we travel through life on autopilot, going through the motions, accepting what is, and having every day pass like the one before it.  Everything seems relatively normal and comfortable, except that constant twitch in the back of your mind that’s saying, “It’s time to make some changes.”

Here are 15 simple suggestions for those who want to break free from the mold and truly live more of their life – to experience it and enjoy it to the fullest, instead of settling for a mere existence.

1. Appreciate the great people and things in your life.
– Sometimes we don’t notice the things others do for us until they stop doing them.  Don’t be like that.  Be grateful for what you have, who loves you, and who cares for you.  You’ll never know how much they mean to you until the day they’re no longer beside you.  Truly appreciate those around you, and you’ll soon find many others around you.  Truly appreciate life, and you’ll find that you have more of it to live.  Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

2. Ignore other people's negativity.
– If you allow people to make more withdrawals than deposits in your life, you will be out of balance and in the negative before you know it.  Ignore unconstructive, hurtful commentary.  No one has the right to judge you.  They may have heard your stories, but they didn’t feel what you were going through.  You do not have control over what others say; but you do have control over whether or not you allow them to say these things to you.  You alone can deny their poisonous words from invading your heart and mind.

3. Forgive those who have hurt you.
– I forgive people, but that doesn’t mean I trust them.  I just don’t have time to hate people who hurt me, because I’m too busy loving people who love me.  The first to apologize is the bravest.  The first to forgive is the strongest.  The first to move forward is the happiest.  Be brave.  Be strong.  Be happy.  Be free.

4. Be who you really are.

– If you’re lucky enough to have something that makes you different from everybody else, don’t change.  Uniqueness is priceless.  In this crazy world that’s trying to make you like everyone else, find the courage to keep being your awesome self.  And when they laugh at you for being different, laugh back at them for being the same.  It takes a lot of courage to stand alone, but it’s worth it.  Being YOU is worth it!

5. Choose to listen to your inner voice.

– Life is a courageous journey or nothing at all.  We cannot become who we want to be by continuing to do exactly what we’ve been doing.  Choose to listen to your inner voice, not the jumbled opinions of everyone else.  Do what you know in your heart is right for YOU.  It’s your road, and yours alone.  Others may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for you.  And be sure to appreciate every day of your life.  Good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience, and the worst days give you the best lessons.  Read Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No.

6. Embrace change and enjoy your life as it unfolds.

– The hardest part about growing is letting go of what you were used to, and moving on with something you’re not.  Sometimes you have to stop worrying, wondering, and doubting, and have faith that things will work out.  Laugh at the confusion, live consciously in the moment, and enjoy your life as it unfolds.  You might not end up exactly where you intended to go, but eventually you will arrive precisely where you need to be.

7. Choose your relationships wisely.
– The best relationships are not just about the good times you share, they’re also about the obstacles you go through together, and the fact that you still say “I love you” in the end.  And loving someone isn’t just about saying it every day, it’s showing it every day in every way.  Relationships must be chosen wisely.  Don’t rush love.  Wait until you truly find it.  Don’t let loneliness drive you back into the arms of someone you know you don’t belong with.  Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.  A great relationship is worth waiting for.

8. Recognize those who love you.
– The most memorable people in your life will be the ones who loved you when you weren’t very loveable.  Pay attention to who these people are in your life, and love them back, even when they aren’t acting loveable.

9. Love yourself too.
– If you can love children, in spite of the messes they make; your mother, in spite of her tendency to nag; your father, even though he’s too opinionated; your sibling, even though she’s always late; your friend, even though he often forgets to return what he borrows, then you know how to love imperfect people, and can surely love yourself.

10. Do things your future self will thank you for.
– What you do every day matters more than what you do every once in a while.  What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it.  Make sure it’s worthwhile.

11. Be thankful for all the troubles you don't have.
– There are two ways of being rich: One is to have all you want, the other is to be satisfied with what you have.  Accept and appreciate things now, and you’ll find more happiness in every moment you live.  Happiness comes when we stop complaining about the troubles we have and offer thanks for all the troubles we don’t have.  And remember, you have to fight through some bad days to earn the best days of your life.  Read The How of Happiness.

12. Leave enough time for fun. 
– Sometimes you need to take a few steps back to see things clearly.  Never let your life become so filled with work, your mind become so crammed with worry, or your heart become so jammed with old hurts or anger, that there’s no room left in them for fun, for awe, or for joy.

13. Enjoy the little things in life.
– The best things in life are free.  There is absolute joy and wonder to be had in the simplest of moments.  Watching the sunset over the horizon or spending time with a family member. Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things.

14. Accept the fact that the past is not today.
– Don’t let the past steal your present and future from you.  You might not be proud of all the things you’ve done in the past, but that’s okay.  The past is not today.  The past cannot be changed, forgotten, or erased.  It can only be accepted.  We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past.  But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.

15. Let go when you must.
– It’s not always about trying to fix something that’s broken.  Some relationships and situations just can’t be fixed.  If you try to force them back together, things will only get worse.  Sometimes it’s about starting over and creating something better.  Strength shows not only in the ability to persist, but in the ability to start over again with a smile on your face and passion in your heart.


"Happiness is not something ready made.
It comes from your own actions".
-Dalai Lama

Friday, February 15, 2013

An Everyday Leadership Story

While sitting on the bus this morning an interesting event occurred that gave me an opportunity to think about the concept of leadership in my everyday life. Per my usual routine, I stepped onto the bus, sat down, and began perusing my morning emails on my phone. Like a freight ship horn blasting as it pulls from the dock, the bus made that telltale hiss announcing that we were about to depart. I pulled away from my phone long enough to check my surroundings and be assured that we were actually moving and turned back down to continue reading when something caught my eye. 

Only a hundred or so yards away from the bus a woman pulling a small backpack on wheels was jogging toward the bus and waving her arm. I was just about to reach for the bus driver and notify him of this woman’s plea, but I stopped. “Let’s see if anyone else will take the lead,” I thought.

While most of the riders of the bus were busy with other things, there was a handful of us who had taken notice of the woman and her small backpack on wheels. In the blink of an eye our little group of do-gooders agreed without a word that we should do something. Great! Let’s do it!

After a second blink our sixth senses connected and agreed on a positive course of action: Kindly ask the bus driver to delay our departure so that this woman could catch up and join us on our journey.

Great! Let’s do it!

“Great!” we all thought. “Let’s do it!” 

Nothing happened. Not a single person took charge of our mission and stepped up to execute our carefully planned and brilliant idea. Eyes simply darted from side to side, checking each of those who had joined the conversation for what to do next. 

Don’t worry. Before the driver had pulled to far away I reached up and asked him to wait and the woman and her tiny backpack on wheels made it in time.

As I thought about this scenario, I realized how often these opportunities occur. How many times had I stopped the driver before? How many times have I opened a door for someone, or provided that last 12 cents for someone who was a little short in front of me at the grocery store, or edited a paper for a friend in school? Or, maybe more importantly, how many times have I NOT taken that small leadership step? What were the consequences of my decision to not lead?

How many times have you taken the lead in even the smallest way and made a difference? 


Thursday, February 14, 2013


I would like to invite you guys
• Click on the link below •


♥ Happy Hearts ♥

There are times I want to get mad.
There are times I want to give up.
There are times I want to cry.
But no matter how many times I think of it..

I always end up saying...


I know that I am not the sweetest human being
that you have met and definitely not the most perfect one.
But no matter what, you always make me feel loved.
Thank you so much for always giving me your everything.
For the trust and support you bring, I will always be grateful.
I may not always say these words but know that when I do,
I mean them.

From the bottom of my heart, I love you more than ever.

I am still practicing this song and hope that soon, I will be able
to sing this to you.. ;)

Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave?
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall
But watching you stand alone?
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

Time stands still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything take away
What's standing in front of me
Every breath
Every hour has come to this

One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

One step closer
One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

Credits to: for the lyrics

♬ Random ♬

Fortune cookies, candies, horoscopes and a lot more. These are the things that came my way in the past few weeks. Was it because of the Chinese New Year?! Definitely not!

I am on my way to work gatherin' my thoughts. I am eager to know what will happen in the next few days. I know am quitting my job but other than that, there's not much to anticipate.

Now that I have submitted my resignation letter, those days and nights of deciding whether to leave or stay is finally over. It's a tough decision to make. This job has been my shelter, my source, my piece of happiness, my stress and comfort all at the same time.

I thank those people who shared their thoughts, experiences,
knowledge, laughter and struggles with me.
It made a better person out of me.
I will forever treasure the time that we have spent together.
You all know who you are.

I just hope that somehow, in my own little way,
I have embedded something useful to all of you.
All I know at this point is that this is not the end.
Someday, our roads will cross again and we will reminisce our happy mem'ries.

Again, I thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
Happy hearts day to all of you. <3

Thanks to Boss Marlon for the Fortune Cookie. To Debz for the fortune candy.
Credits for the photos:;,