Wednesday, February 20, 2013


The world is run by egos. The rules in business and in life, in general, are ego-based rules. What you know is not quite as important as who you know and who you are associated with.

In any industry, your key to opening doors of opportunities lie in your association with the key person of influence. The benefits of co-operation aside, that is how the game of business is being played—it has been for decades, even for centuries—and it will continue to do so for some time to come.

Perhaps that is why we are so quick to name-drop when we know someone famous or influential. Social validation through association elevates the perception of our status. It removes barriers and opens doors of opportunities. You don’t have to look far to find evidence of this. Just look at your workplace and you will find that at least one person in your company got his or her job because he or she knew someone in upper management, never mind that there are many other candidates who are more qualified for the role. It’s the way the corporate world works, it’s the way the world works in general. I agree the rules are not fair, which is why I don’t play the game if I can help it.

As we’ve moved into the era of the new energy, I’m increasingly being compelled to write about the ego, not because it is fascinating stuff, but because I’ve been asked by those around me, “What does ego really mean?” With this question being asked numerous times by different people, it occurred to me that ego is not something most people readily recognise, either in themselves or in others.

When I’m being asked what ego is about, I thought about it a little more. Of all the different ways I can explain it, I decided that one word is perhaps sufficient.

That word is ‘separation’.

The ego seeks to divide and separate, rather than unite. It seeks to delineate people into groups of Us vs Them. The more obvious artificial divides are based on religion, race/ethnicity and nationality, where pride is associated with a certain religious beliefs, skin colour, place of birth or domicile. Whether pride itself is an egotistical trait is something I’m still pondering about. Whatever it is, one thing is certain—the ego is at work if a separation exists to denote superiority vs inferiority.

So, what does ego look like in everyday life?

It appears as racism—when we think one race is more superior than another, or one skin colour is better than another.

It appears in socio-economic segregation—when people choose to divide themselves based on their wealth or income, their profession and perhaps even their level of education.

It appears mostly in social segregation when people divide into cliques based on perceived importance on superficial criteria like popularity, who they know, what they have, what they know, whether they are spiritually evolved or not etc.

The ego attributes importance to a group at the expense of another. Some of this is perpetuated through a mass belief that this importance is genuine. For example, women by nature are relational beings. Relationships are important to us. So, for women, being in a relationship with a man is important because part of their identity is derived from their partner or spouse. So when they are without a partner or a spouse, an unhealthy indulgence of ego makes them feel that they are incomplete or inadequate. When they are with a partner or a spouse, an unhealthy indulgence of ego makes them feel that they are more superior than their counterparts who are single. This is, of course, just an example.

Eckhart Tolle pointed out that the ego derives its sense of importance from someone or something that is external to them. In other words, the ego is at work when we are name-dropping, when we are showing off our designer label clothing or when we feel superior because of our achievements.

At this point, I would like to clarify that ego in itself is neutral. Where it becomes harmful is when we allow our egos to control our actions and behaviour, rather than the other way around. You see, the ego lives in the mind. It shows up dressed in all kinds of thoughts that create a variety of emotions that may not be healthful if overindulged. Emotions like worry, fear and doubt are just as much ego driven as arrogance and superiority.

So how do we tame this beast?

I don’t have all the answers. All I can offer is this piece of advice—ask yourself what needs are being met when you allow your ego to dictate how you act, how you view others and how you behave towards them. When you uncover what those needs are, seek ways to meet them within yourself.

At the end of the day, I believe there really is only one solution to meeting all those needs. The solution—in my view—is Divine Love.

To Divine Love,

Chiao Kee

“It is better to deserve without receiving, than to receive without deserving”
-Robert Green Ingersoll



My role in society, or any artist's or poet's role, is to try and express what we all feel. Not to tell people how to feel. Not as a preacher, not as a leader, but as a reflection of us all. 
-John Lennon

Photo Credits:

15 Ways to Live, and Not Merely Exist

♥♥ Another inspiring post ♥♥

As Jack London once said, “The proper function of man is to live, not to exist.”  Far too often we travel through life on autopilot, going through the motions, accepting what is, and having every day pass like the one before it.  Everything seems relatively normal and comfortable, except that constant twitch in the back of your mind that’s saying, “It’s time to make some changes.”

Here are 15 simple suggestions for those who want to break free from the mold and truly live more of their life – to experience it and enjoy it to the fullest, instead of settling for a mere existence.

1. Appreciate the great people and things in your life.
– Sometimes we don’t notice the things others do for us until they stop doing them.  Don’t be like that.  Be grateful for what you have, who loves you, and who cares for you.  You’ll never know how much they mean to you until the day they’re no longer beside you.  Truly appreciate those around you, and you’ll soon find many others around you.  Truly appreciate life, and you’ll find that you have more of it to live.  Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

2. Ignore other people's negativity.
– If you allow people to make more withdrawals than deposits in your life, you will be out of balance and in the negative before you know it.  Ignore unconstructive, hurtful commentary.  No one has the right to judge you.  They may have heard your stories, but they didn’t feel what you were going through.  You do not have control over what others say; but you do have control over whether or not you allow them to say these things to you.  You alone can deny their poisonous words from invading your heart and mind.

3. Forgive those who have hurt you.
– I forgive people, but that doesn’t mean I trust them.  I just don’t have time to hate people who hurt me, because I’m too busy loving people who love me.  The first to apologize is the bravest.  The first to forgive is the strongest.  The first to move forward is the happiest.  Be brave.  Be strong.  Be happy.  Be free.

4. Be who you really are.

– If you’re lucky enough to have something that makes you different from everybody else, don’t change.  Uniqueness is priceless.  In this crazy world that’s trying to make you like everyone else, find the courage to keep being your awesome self.  And when they laugh at you for being different, laugh back at them for being the same.  It takes a lot of courage to stand alone, but it’s worth it.  Being YOU is worth it!

5. Choose to listen to your inner voice.

– Life is a courageous journey or nothing at all.  We cannot become who we want to be by continuing to do exactly what we’ve been doing.  Choose to listen to your inner voice, not the jumbled opinions of everyone else.  Do what you know in your heart is right for YOU.  It’s your road, and yours alone.  Others may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for you.  And be sure to appreciate every day of your life.  Good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience, and the worst days give you the best lessons.  Read Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No.

6. Embrace change and enjoy your life as it unfolds.

– The hardest part about growing is letting go of what you were used to, and moving on with something you’re not.  Sometimes you have to stop worrying, wondering, and doubting, and have faith that things will work out.  Laugh at the confusion, live consciously in the moment, and enjoy your life as it unfolds.  You might not end up exactly where you intended to go, but eventually you will arrive precisely where you need to be.

7. Choose your relationships wisely.
– The best relationships are not just about the good times you share, they’re also about the obstacles you go through together, and the fact that you still say “I love you” in the end.  And loving someone isn’t just about saying it every day, it’s showing it every day in every way.  Relationships must be chosen wisely.  Don’t rush love.  Wait until you truly find it.  Don’t let loneliness drive you back into the arms of someone you know you don’t belong with.  Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.  A great relationship is worth waiting for.

8. Recognize those who love you.
– The most memorable people in your life will be the ones who loved you when you weren’t very loveable.  Pay attention to who these people are in your life, and love them back, even when they aren’t acting loveable.

9. Love yourself too.
– If you can love children, in spite of the messes they make; your mother, in spite of her tendency to nag; your father, even though he’s too opinionated; your sibling, even though she’s always late; your friend, even though he often forgets to return what he borrows, then you know how to love imperfect people, and can surely love yourself.

10. Do things your future self will thank you for.
– What you do every day matters more than what you do every once in a while.  What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it.  Make sure it’s worthwhile.

11. Be thankful for all the troubles you don't have.
– There are two ways of being rich: One is to have all you want, the other is to be satisfied with what you have.  Accept and appreciate things now, and you’ll find more happiness in every moment you live.  Happiness comes when we stop complaining about the troubles we have and offer thanks for all the troubles we don’t have.  And remember, you have to fight through some bad days to earn the best days of your life.  Read The How of Happiness.

12. Leave enough time for fun. 
– Sometimes you need to take a few steps back to see things clearly.  Never let your life become so filled with work, your mind become so crammed with worry, or your heart become so jammed with old hurts or anger, that there’s no room left in them for fun, for awe, or for joy.

13. Enjoy the little things in life.
– The best things in life are free.  There is absolute joy and wonder to be had in the simplest of moments.  Watching the sunset over the horizon or spending time with a family member. Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things.

14. Accept the fact that the past is not today.
– Don’t let the past steal your present and future from you.  You might not be proud of all the things you’ve done in the past, but that’s okay.  The past is not today.  The past cannot be changed, forgotten, or erased.  It can only be accepted.  We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past.  But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.

15. Let go when you must.
– It’s not always about trying to fix something that’s broken.  Some relationships and situations just can’t be fixed.  If you try to force them back together, things will only get worse.  Sometimes it’s about starting over and creating something better.  Strength shows not only in the ability to persist, but in the ability to start over again with a smile on your face and passion in your heart.


"Happiness is not something ready made.
It comes from your own actions".
-Dalai Lama

Friday, February 15, 2013

An Everyday Leadership Story

While sitting on the bus this morning an interesting event occurred that gave me an opportunity to think about the concept of leadership in my everyday life. Per my usual routine, I stepped onto the bus, sat down, and began perusing my morning emails on my phone. Like a freight ship horn blasting as it pulls from the dock, the bus made that telltale hiss announcing that we were about to depart. I pulled away from my phone long enough to check my surroundings and be assured that we were actually moving and turned back down to continue reading when something caught my eye. 

Only a hundred or so yards away from the bus a woman pulling a small backpack on wheels was jogging toward the bus and waving her arm. I was just about to reach for the bus driver and notify him of this woman’s plea, but I stopped. “Let’s see if anyone else will take the lead,” I thought.

While most of the riders of the bus were busy with other things, there was a handful of us who had taken notice of the woman and her small backpack on wheels. In the blink of an eye our little group of do-gooders agreed without a word that we should do something. Great! Let’s do it!

After a second blink our sixth senses connected and agreed on a positive course of action: Kindly ask the bus driver to delay our departure so that this woman could catch up and join us on our journey.

Great! Let’s do it!

“Great!” we all thought. “Let’s do it!” 

Nothing happened. Not a single person took charge of our mission and stepped up to execute our carefully planned and brilliant idea. Eyes simply darted from side to side, checking each of those who had joined the conversation for what to do next. 

Don’t worry. Before the driver had pulled to far away I reached up and asked him to wait and the woman and her tiny backpack on wheels made it in time.

As I thought about this scenario, I realized how often these opportunities occur. How many times had I stopped the driver before? How many times have I opened a door for someone, or provided that last 12 cents for someone who was a little short in front of me at the grocery store, or edited a paper for a friend in school? Or, maybe more importantly, how many times have I NOT taken that small leadership step? What were the consequences of my decision to not lead?

How many times have you taken the lead in even the smallest way and made a difference? 


Thursday, February 14, 2013


I would like to invite you guys
• Click on the link below •


♥ Happy Hearts ♥

There are times I want to get mad.
There are times I want to give up.
There are times I want to cry.
But no matter how many times I think of it..

I always end up saying...


I know that I am not the sweetest human being
that you have met and definitely not the most perfect one.
But no matter what, you always make me feel loved.
Thank you so much for always giving me your everything.
For the trust and support you bring, I will always be grateful.
I may not always say these words but know that when I do,
I mean them.

From the bottom of my heart, I love you more than ever.

I am still practicing this song and hope that soon, I will be able
to sing this to you.. ;)

Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave?
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall
But watching you stand alone?
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

Time stands still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything take away
What's standing in front of me
Every breath
Every hour has come to this

One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

One step closer
One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

Credits to: for the lyrics

♬ Random ♬

Fortune cookies, candies, horoscopes and a lot more. These are the things that came my way in the past few weeks. Was it because of the Chinese New Year?! Definitely not!

I am on my way to work gatherin' my thoughts. I am eager to know what will happen in the next few days. I know am quitting my job but other than that, there's not much to anticipate.

Now that I have submitted my resignation letter, those days and nights of deciding whether to leave or stay is finally over. It's a tough decision to make. This job has been my shelter, my source, my piece of happiness, my stress and comfort all at the same time.

I thank those people who shared their thoughts, experiences,
knowledge, laughter and struggles with me.
It made a better person out of me.
I will forever treasure the time that we have spent together.
You all know who you are.

I just hope that somehow, in my own little way,
I have embedded something useful to all of you.
All I know at this point is that this is not the end.
Someday, our roads will cross again and we will reminisce our happy mem'ries.

Again, I thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
Happy hearts day to all of you. <3

Thanks to Boss Marlon for the Fortune Cookie. To Debz for the fortune candy.
Credits for the photos:;,

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Let Go of Something..

Here's a post that made me think... Hope you'd like this as much as I do.

For a lot of people, it's hard to let go. It's hard to let go of people, of things, of emotions. It's hard to let go when you know you have to. It's hard to let go when you don't want to. I find that some people are better at letting go of some things than others. I, for example, have a terrificly terrible time letting go of people, but when it comes to letting go of actual things, I have absolutely no trouble saying goodbye. Other people don't seem to cling to people the way that I do, but ask them to get rid of a dress they wore in high school and they act like you're asking them to sell their soul. We're all different when it comes to letting go, but I bet that no matter who you are, you have a hard time letting go of something.

And, you know what? That's okay. It's okay to have a hard time letting go. Whether it's things, people, or thoughts, it's difficult to give up something that you once thought of (or still think of) as yours. But that's no excuse to keep hanging onto it. When you keep things you don't need (and, yes, this includes people) in your life, you're causing yourself to have to deal with things you don't need to. Extra things create clutter in your home, just the same way extra people create clutter in your heart. I don't know about you, but I'd rather not have clutter of any kind in my life. I like things neat, I like things organized, and, above all else, I like things clutter-free.

Of course, getting rid of clutter -- emotional or physical -- is usually easier said than done. It's quite easy to say you want to get rid of something, but quite another to actually take action and get rid of it. It takes a lot of courage to get rid of something when, for whatever reason, you don't really want to get rid of it. You might be thinking yourself, "Okay, why would I get rid of something if I don't want to get rid of it?" It does seem a little backwards but there plenty of things we hang on to that we don't need. For example, there are plenty of people in this world who are hoarders (hello, Clean House!) and, though they know they should get rid of some of their stuff, they don't want to. Likewise, there are people out there who spend time with those that drain them emotionally. Though they know they should get rid of these people, they don't necessarily want to. In both of these examples, you can see that sometimes we hang on to things we don't need. And it's up to us to make a change.

Just like happiness, getting rid of things you don't need in your life is a choice. You don't usually get forced into it (though sometimes this can happen) and usually no one is going to do it for you (how often to people really come into your house and start de-cluttering your living space?). Therefore, it's all up to you. Youhave to make the choice to get rid of what you don't need in your life. Ready? Okay, let's go let go! 

Letting Go of What You Do Not Need

Decide what's really important. When you take a step back and think about what's really, truly important to you, you'll begin to realize that many of the things you're holding on to aren't as important as you once thought. What's important is being healthy, happy, and living your life to the fullest. If you are clinging to things or people, you're not really living happily and at peace with yourself. Step back and assess whatreally matters to you and letting go will become a lot easier. 

Assess what benefits you're getting. One of the reasons we hang on to things or people is because we believe we need them, we believe we're really getting something of value from having them around. But is that true? Think about it -- and I mean really think about it. Are you benefiting from the clutter in your life? Is your life richer because you are surrounded by negative people? Probably not. If you take a moment and list the benefits you're getting from something you should let go of, you'll probably have a short list. Use this to motivate yourself to let go. 

Recognize that you're overvaluing it. Typically it's you that's placing all of the value on a person or thing that you're holding on to unnecessarily. More often than not, you're idealizing that person or thing and telling yourself that, for whatever reason, you need to have it in your life. However, that's not true. If you believe you should be letting go than you should let go. What you need in your life is you. You also need things that are bringing you up, not down. If something isn't bringing you up, if it isn't absolutely necessary, stop overvaluing it and let it go. 

Let it go -- no matter how hard it is. It really does come down to the old Nike slogan, "Just do it." No matter how hard it is, no matter what obstacles stand in your way, sometimes you have to just suck it up and let it go. I know, firsthand, that this is much easier said (or written!) than done, but, honestly, it really is the only way. Whether it's a person or a thing (or even a feeling), the best advice is just to let go (and don't go chasing after it either!). When you actually take action, you'll see that you're just fine without it. 

As much as you might think you need something, keep in mind that "need" is a very strong word. What you really "need" in your life is very different from what you might think you need. Remember that, deep down, you really do know what's best for yourself. If there's something telling you that you need to let go, listen to that instinct. Your gut feelings will let you know what's right and what's wrong. You just need to open your mind and listen to them. And then, when you hear that voice telling you that you need to let something go, have the courage to really listen and to take action. Letting something go isn't ever easy, but you can make your whole world better and more positive just by loosening your grip and letting go.

“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don't.” 
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

credits to:

Saturday, February 9, 2013


1. Where was your profile picture taken?: *edit* I was thinking of my DP in FB. My profile pic is ponzi and I don't know where it was taken. hahaha.. :p

2. Your relationship status?: Happily Taken

3. Have you ever lost a close friend?: Yes

4. Your current mood?: Eager for change

5. What's your brother(s)/sister(s) names?: Brother - Ryan Kristoffer

6. Where do you wish you were right now?: Somewhere far away where I can really think clear.

7. Have a crazy side?: Have lots! ;)

8. Ever had a near death experience?: almost

9. Something you do a lot?: Before I often play guitar but I don't have the time as of the moment.

10. Angry at anyone?: Myself

11. What's stopping you from going for the person you like?: Trust

12. When was the last time you cried?: I can't remember. hahaha..

13. What are you really good at?: being moody?! -lol-

14. What do you think about when you are falling asleep?: What time will I wake up? =p

15. What were you doing yesterday at 10:00 am?: watching TV until I fell asleep.

16. Do you prefer light or dark hair on the opposite sex ?: Darker

17. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?: Gladys

18. What is/are your favorite band(s)?: Too Many..

19. What are you doing right now?: Just letting time pass by - so slow. :(

20. Who do you trust 100% right now?: God

21. Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?: Gladys - a monthsary present. ;)

22. Heavy metal music?: Too loud for me.

23. Who Was the last person you hugged?: Gladys

24. Is there anything you're hiding from someone?: If there is, I wanted to keep it secret. :D 

25. Who are you thinking of right now?: Khulit Bulilit. =)

26. What should you be doing right now?: Done with my reports. Just spending the rest of time slacking. hahahah.. 

27. What are you listening to?: The Market.

28. You need new jeans. Quick where do you go?: Dept. Store.

29. Who was the last person who yelled at you?: Gladys - hahahaha.. 

30. Do you act differently around the person you like?: No.. aahhmmmm, I guess so. I act negatively. If you know what I mean. -lol-

31. What is your eye color?: Brown.

32. Who was the last person to make you laugh?: Khulit Bulilit.

33. Who was the last person to make you angry?: Eulai. - hahahah.. Glad we're back to kulitan mode.

34. Hello Kitty or Dora?: Why the! Can't I just choose Mickey? =D

35. Is your hair naturally curly or straight?: Curly but not too much.

36. Hug anyone of opposite sex in past 24 hours?: Not in the past 24 hours.

37. One thing you want right now?: I want to have WISDOM. I hope the decision that I will make is for the better of me.

38. Will you fall in love in the next few months?: I am in love with my partner.

39. What does the 5th text in your inbox say?: Don't be sad. It would just be for a while. You go sleep and when you wake up, I'll be beside you - Gladys.

40. Are you worried about the future?: Live and Die each day. Live and Die each day. (GREY)

41. Are you happy with life right now?: Define happiness? :p

42. Are you currently jealous?: no.

43. Who's 3 of your top friends?: Gladys, Ate Sheila, Kath

44. Do you think your weird?: All the time. hahaha.

45. What do you miss the most about primary school?: When "Ermat" would stay until the class ended.

46. Favorite Disney Channel show?: WORLD WORD - very 

47. Who's 4 of your best girl friends?: Gladys, Ate Sheila, Kath, Arra

48. What are you looking forward to?: To make a final decision come Monday.

49. Does anyone like you right now?: I guess so. -lol-

50. Lyrics to the song you're listening to?:

Whenever you're sad
whenever you're crying
I'll be the one who wipes away your tears
whenever you call
whenever you need me
I'll be the one who runs to you
giving my love
well you know how much I love you
so you better not let me down
I'm not asking for too much baby
just stick around

I love you bhebhe <3

Credits to:

Thursday, February 7, 2013


There comes a point in your life that you are caught up in
between major decisions that would change your life.
What are the pro's and con's? - these you have to weigh.

I am trying to decide on what course to take and while I am,
something happened. Deep inside of me wanted to cry
because of the anger that I felt inside. I wanted to understand
but I can't seem to find it.

Why the hell do you have to be so blunt? You just make me feel
more troubled. I am becoming warm to the idea that change will
happen soon but when "YOU" suddenly showed up, everything


God, give me grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.

Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.